The Runaway Bride.. Pt 1

As I sit on my train slightly annoyed at having to change trains (the Southestern service is the worst service known to man *rollseyes*)  I reflect on the response from my first ‘welcome’ post, particularly on a Facebook private message I received. Fighting back the tears, it was a confirmation of how far God has brought me and how there is a purpose for this blog and my life as a whole. I know I promised my Facebook family that my first post would be on my encounters with ‘Christian Brothers’ however I feel God leading me elsewhere. So here goes, it’s going to be a long one, get comfortable as I tell you about my greatest love.

Ladies if you have ever had an overzealous brother persistently hollering at you, but simply not being interested, then finally giving in, you will understand my journey to salvation. I wont say God was overzealous but He sure was persistent in pursuing me, however I played hard to get and spent most of my time running from Him. It was only recently that I gave in and surrendered my life to Him. Let me not pretend, it’s a daily surrender.

I was born in the church. Those that know me know that my mum is a Pastor.  A fact I bitterly resented. Going to church was not optional it was by force. Early morning prayers and devotionals were mandatory. So I went to church but I didn’t know God. I knew bible scriptures, but they had no meaning to me. I sang in the choir, I was attendee of the year at EVERY gospel event but it was all activity, no relationship. Don’t get me wrong, I was a good girl, your perfect church girl. But as I grew older I began to resent God, Christians and Christianity as a whole. Why? A lot of things were happening to me that I couldn’t explain. Things happening at home that were painful for me to deal with or understand. So I began to question God’s existence. If this God was real then WHY was He allowing all these bad things happen to me?

*Lets pause* The devil will always try and cause you to doubt Gods existence. He will use this to convince you that God doesn’t love or care about you. After all if He did, surely He would save you.

So I did the obvious. I still went to church but I rebelled. I started searching for love from people, especially guys. At this stage I was in college, feeling like a spice because all of a sudden guys began to notice me. Every one wanted a piece of Covey, so I entertained every guy that was checking for me. All the while God was pursing me, constantly trying to reach out to me but I just wasn’t interested. I was living my life as I pleased. I wasn’t sleeping around or drinking, none of that I was too scared. Things at home got worst, life at home became unbearable. I slipped into a state of depression. I stopped going to college. At this point I was desperate, something had to happen and happen fast. * cuts out all the long winded details * Randomly I got  invited to a youth conference called Restoration and I attended it with my bestfriend, before I knew it I was on my knees crying out, asking God to forgive me and come into my life.  Not me alone but my bestie got saved. I started reading my bible again; this time the words became life to me. I became thirsty for God and the more I spent time with Him the more I was satisfied. It was amazing.  Me and my bestie would encourage each other, everyday we would pray with each other on the phone. We went from raving together to joining Christian fellowships together. We were on fire for God. At that time getting saved was the new hype so being a Christian was easy. 

Now I was a certified Christian. In fact I was a sister of Jesus. I was going around like an apostle to the nations. I was that certified. But there was this guy, a Christian brother. My lord he was HOTTTT. My type on every level.  I knew he was interested so I kept it cool. One day he invited me to his house to come and help him prepare the poem he was going to minister at church. Being the caring sister that I was, I went. Before you know it we were playing, then playing turned to kissing and then ayyyyyyyyy lets just say the flesh took over.  Although we didn’t have sex, at that moment I felt empty, something had left me, the absence of that something made me weep from his house to my house. I went home in tears, when my mum asked what was wrong, i said i had lost my oyster. Wait! I just lied and i felt perfectly fine. I knew something was missing. I now understand that something to be a someone. The Holy Spirit.

1 Corinthians 6:19 – 20 [NLT]

19 Don’t you realize that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit, who lives in you and was given to you by God? You do not belong to yourself, 20 for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

My relationship with God changed. I was still a Christian but I went back to being a ‘Sunday’ Christian. Reading my bible was long. I was cold one day hot another. I just couldn’t consistently live holy. By this time I was back in another relationship and God was no longer my priority. 

Ill stop there, for now if not you might fall asleep on me. LOL! Stay tuned for part 2.

Till Next Post..

Covey x x